The past month

Just checking in with all four of my blog readers! I know I've been MIA the past month but I'm still alive and doing fairly well. I'll be honest, February was a blur for me. After Missy's funeral, I wouldn't say that I was in a complete funk because I was very much in the wedding planning mode (and that is exciting) but I was just in a blur. God did (and continues to) teach me several things during that time. I definitely felt His presence and comfort and I so very much appreciate the prayers of so many friends. Knowing that there were so many other people going through the same situation was very comforting and knowing that Missy had impacted so many people just made me feel better.

Many times, God uses music to teach me and get my attention. This situation was no different. During the time I visited Missy in the hospital, God showed me two songs that really spoke to me. The first is from Phillips Craig & Dean called ""You are God Alone" which comforted me in so many ways but mainly just telling me that no matter what I was going through, God is God and He never changes. The line that stuck out to me was "from before time began, you are on your throne. You are God alone. And right now, in the good times and bad, you are on your throne, you are God alone." The only way to get through watching one of your best friends die is to know that God is sovereign and that He knows what He is doing. Also it's possible to praise God during both a good time while planning a wedding and a bad time like what I experienced during the month of February. He's unstoppable and unchangeable and praise the Lord for His sovereignty!



The other song God spoke to me through is Steven Curtis Chapman's "Be Still and Know" which I believe has been on my iPod for almost a decade but it's amazing how He pulls the exact song and puts it in my head at the exact right time. When I was visiting Missy in the hospital, as I mentioned before, she was induced into a coma. But I knew she could hear me because she would turn her head ever so slightly or she tried to open her eyes. It really was a precious time. However, at one point, she all of a sudden would move her arms up which honestly, the first time kind of freaked me out. I wasn't expecting that at all. God laid Psalms 46:10 on my mind. "Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." I kept telling Missy that she had two things to do, according to this verse and God would do His part. Of course this song came to my mind and I think I tried to sing to her at one point. I knew she heard me because she would immediately put her hands down. But this song was even more comforting to me in the days after she died. God really had to slow me down from my busy life and just showed me in a real way the same message as the other song. He is God no matter what and I just clung to that core principle.



Luckily for me, the Christian radio station in my neck of the woods only plays about 20 songs in a continual shuffle and these two songs are still in the rotation. Normally, I complain about hearing the same songs over and over again but in this situation, I just know God's still using these songs to reinforce what He's been teaching me over the past month.